The Burden of My Writings

A Poem

Photo by Yannick Pulver on Unsplash

I feel bad for my writings.

I judge them too hard —

I’m angry at them

Happy with them

Annoyed by them

— All according to my mood

When they’ve done nothing wrong

Because I am no author or a professional writer,

I’m just a girl, still vomiting her thoughts

Maybe one day I’ll change my behavior and properly apologize

to the writings I killed

because they were deemed unworthy

— By me

at times when I was in a dark place,

or when I’m too harsh.

Apologize to the writings that have never seen light,

that will forever stay on my notes app

— a lingering thought

and never a polished piece.

For now I can’t see myself changing,

but I’m trying hard.

So that one day I’ll look at you, my writings,

and see objectively how you can become better,

never lashing at you as I have for so long.

So to my writings, I hope you understand:

I judge u too critically, hoping I can show the world your best version.

But sometimes I think that my way with you is just wrong.

So forgive me,

until I’m able to change fully.

I’ve written this on a whim, and just like any of my writings, it sounds better in my head. And now I’m being critical of it — that’s why I’m going to post it nonetheless. :)